The So-so Network

Ah, The Social Network. The best movie I merely tolerated this year, and the most overrated movie to win an Oscar for Best Picture since…well, it hasn’t won yet. But it will. And when it does, my disappointment in the Academy will be perfected.

Don’t misunderstand, The Social Network is a great film. Directed by Oscar-winner David Fincher and boasting a talented young cast (with the exception of Timberlake), the movie is well-directed, well-written, and well-acted. On paper, it’s as close to a perfect film as one could hope to see. But does it deserve the golden statue? I don’t think so. Here's why...

1.  The whole is less than the sum of its parts. Let me explain. No, there is nothing wrong with the film’s direction, acting, or dialogue. The script is sharp, the cinematography top-notch, and the music phenomenal. But the film as a whole is nothing to write home about. At the end of the day (er…the movie), you walk out of the theater asking, “Who cares?” Because while there is nothing wrong with the film, that does not mean that everything is right. In the end, we are given a less-than-compelling story that is both melodramatic and largely fictional. It’s like hiring a world-class chef, handing him cookware and appliances of the highest quality, then asking him to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sure, it’ll be one tasty PBJ. But what’s the point?

2.  The film is riding the buzz to victory. Back in October, just before The Social Network was released, it became the source of incredible hype. “The Facebook movie” was a hit before it ever sold a ticket. I'm not saying hype is inherently bad. Take Inception, for example. It was hyped for months, it matched the hype, and both audiences and critics decided it was worthy of their praise. But The Social Network is a different animal. Based (loosely) on true events, the film is a dramatic character study, and one that deals with timely subject matter. In other words, it’s a film that was tailor-made for Oscar contention. It was hyped, fell somewhat short of the hype, and yet was still referred to as the “movie of the year”. Why? Because, as I mentioned before, nobody could find anything wrong with it. So it maintained it’s “movie of the year” status in the minds of critics and moviegoers, and will continue to ride that wave all the way to Oscar night. Seem fair? Not really. Especially when there are so many other films that are just as worthy, if not more so. Which brings us to…

3.  The Academy promised us it wouldn’t. Well, it’s not like they pinky promised. But when they expanded the Best Picture category from five slots to ten, they strongly implied things would change. You see, the purpose of expanding the category was to give a wider array of films a chance for Oscar glory. The problem with five slots became glaringly obvious a couple years ago, when a little film called The Dark Knight was snubbed for a Best Picture nomination. The movie that likely took its place, The Reader, was seen by almost no one and—more importantly—was never seriously being considered for an Oscar. But The Reader was the type of film the Academy would take seriously, so it garnered a spot. And The Dark Knight, easily one of the most entertaining movies of the year, was not even given a chance to compete.

For this reason and others, the Academy recognized the problem and doubled the number of Best Picture slots. Problem solved, right? Not exactly. It's already apparent that the increase in nominations has not changed the Academy’s mindset at all. Because while there are now ten films to choose from when voting for Best Picture, there are still only three or four that are being seriously considered. Which means there might as well be only five slots. Back to square one.

So what will it mean if The Social Network wins? Just that the movies we enjoyed the most this year (like Toy Story 3, Inception, and The King's Speech) will go unrecognized. And while that may not matter to most casual moviegoers, you can bet that it matters to those who worked so hard to make exciting, original cinema. And it should matter to the Academy, whose job it is to reward the year’s most entertaining films. If it is incapable of performing its one and only duty, then we might as well skip Oscar night and go see a screening of No Strings Attached starring Ashton Kutcher. The Academy can still throw their party, showering praise upon its Hollywood darlings, drinking martinis and insisting upon themselves. We don’t care. They could even change their name to "The Academy of Pretentious Criteria for Films not Movies". 

Of course, they’ll have to update their facebook page.


G

writer's block

i'm house-sitting this week, on a street called Manor Place. something called ManorFest happened on Saturday, a ginormous block party with a live band and much tom-foolery, i'm sure. my busy schedule of football-watching and couch-napping prevented me from making an appearance, but i did (through the kitchen wall) catch some covers of Coldplay and Kings of Leon. i appreciated that. 

those who know me know how much i enjoy house-sitting. it has its moments of frustration, usually involving the unclean animals i am obligated to entertain, feed, and clean up after. but otherwise it's cake. it halfway feels like vacation, since i am away from home for a few days, and i take full advantage of "vacation rules" whenever i am sitting some house. for example, i usually buy a new book beforehand, just as i would do on for reals vacation. a visit to an airport bookstore is one of my favorite parts of any trip i take. in fact, a visit to any bookstore is one of my favorite parts of life.

those who patronize local libraries will not understand my fascination with bookstores. a book is a book, they might argue. that is true. and i appreciate libraries for what they contribute to society, i really do, but to me there is something about a clutch book run that is unmatched for pleasure. shelves of books, fresh off the presses. recommended reading shelves, freshly-varnished paperback covers, and that new book smell! you don't get that at your local library, son.

i don't even own a library card. and no, i don't feel guilty about that. i feel justified. you see, by buying new books, i am forcing more books to be printed. and more books in this world can only be a good thing. in fact, the book industry is one of the few that will actually benefit society by continuing to grow. libraries are government-funded, so they've got nothing to worry about. used bookstores are charging for products you can get for free elsewhere (libraries). they deserve what they get. but make a trip to your local Borders, and you are creating demand for new books to be written, published, and printed. you are enriching lives and educating minds. you're a freaking hero.

but let's be honest for a sec. even if no one benefited from my lust for new books, i would still buy them. the mere act of shopping for a new book is therapeutic. it must be, since many of the books i buy end up on my shelf, never to be read. but when i find the right book at the right time, well, that's almost better than pancakes. well worth the suggested retail price, in my opinion.

anyways, i'm experiencing what real writers might call "writer's block". i have found that a strong cup of coffee usually helps. but then, sometimes it just causes one to ramble on about whatever the heck. so instead of a cohesive, structured blog entry, you get stream-of-consciousness. i'm not gonna apologize for it. 

it's finally fall. i'm guy. this is the fall guy.


G

Sigh No More…Mumford & Sons Have Arrived

The debut album from Mumford & Sons is nothing short of inspired. A revelation, if you will. Which is fitting, given the spiritual ideology that resonates through the record. Surprised? Get used to it. Sigh No More blurs lines and crosses boundaries, legitimizing a genre that may yet be unnamed. Channeling Irish folk and American bluegrass, Mumford’s first record is courageous and undeniably “old school”. But after one listen I was scouring the interweb for tickets, and even those who scoffed at such styles in the past will likely be doing the same. Because old school or not, this music is fun.

Naysayers will argue that Mumford & Sons stand on the shoulders of giants. Marcus Mumford's lead vocals bear more than a slight resemblance to The Frames’ Glen Hansard, and the fusion of the band's folk and indie rock sounds are reminiscent of The Avett Brothers and Kings of Leon. But make no mistake: Mumford & Sons are their own entity, and they are for real. With banjo-laced rhythms building flawlessly toward bass-driven crescendos, Sigh No More is a welcome reminder of how inventive and exciting and good rock music can be.

Not since Coldplay’s Parachutes has a debut album held so much promise, and fans of the record can certainly look forward to incredible live performances and more (we hope) genre-pushing records to come. For now, Mumford and Sons has offered a collection of tracks that are sure to be monopolizing our iPods well into next year. Hallelujah.

G


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And just for fun…My Top 5 Albums of 2010 (so far):


1.  Band of Horses, Infinite Arms 
2.  Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More
3.  Gorillaz, Plastic Beach
4.  Arcade Fire, The Suburbs
5.  Broken Bells, Broken Bells

Fighting Fire with Fire or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Burrito

The heat has been relentless this summer. More relentless even than the snowpocalypse we experienced just a few months back. Being a veteran of the war against August, I have stockpiled various weapons with which to combat the heat. Air conditioning is my first line of defense, and I use it without remorse. Exercise seems to increase my threshold of heat tolerance, so I employ some cardio as well. Other devices found in my arsenal include Netflix movies, Cold Ones, and afternoon naps. But might I suggest another, less obvious weapon: Mexican cuisine.

Various cultures have used spicy foods to withstand the heat for centuries. Here's the idea: foods containing hot spices (such as peppers) cause you to sweat, naturally reducing your body's temperature. And the pain you feel when eating spicy foods produces a rush of endorphins, making the heat outside more bearable. But even if you aren't gnawing on a habanero, Mexican food is a great way to survive the most brutal month of the year. I recommend the Baja Fish Burrito (traditional style) from Blue Coast Burrito. It will produce endorphins of all kinds, guaranteed.

I am reminded of a film by Robert Rodriguez, entitled Once Upon a Time in Mexico (a guilty pleasure, I'll admit). In the film, Johnny Depp plays an offbeat CIA agent named Sheldon Sands (quite possibly Depp's most underrated role). Sands has an affinity for puerco pibil, a traditional Mexican pork dish, and he orders a plate in every restaurant he walks into. In one scene, Sands is so impressed with his puerco pibil that he pays the check, walks back to the kitchen, and shoots the cook. A bit excessive, I agree. But his method proves effective for determining the quality of any food establishment. I have used this method myself, with great success. In the case of burrito joints, the fish taco will (in my opinion) tell you what to expect from every other item on the menu. Blue Coast nailed it with their fish taco, but they didn't stop there. Oh, no. Those geniuses dedicated an entire burrito to the fish taco recipe, creating a deeply satisfying culinary experience. 

For those who may be unfamiliar with the ingredients, allow me to describe. The Baja Fish Burrito begins with a steamed tortilla of your choice (flour, spinach, chipotle or wheat). Ordered traditional style, the tortilla is then filled with generous portions of fried fish, cilantro, onions, cabbage, white sauce and salsa. The result is the equivalent of 4 or 5 fish tacos, all wrapped into one epic burrito. You best bring your appetite.

Blue Coast did not invent the fish burrito, but they no doubt perfected it. And I fully expect this recipe to catch on and spread like wildfire. I hope to soon be evaluating each burrito place I visit by the quality of its own fish burrito.

I promise not to shoot the cook.

G